Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Fixing Personal Problems

Today I want to explore fixing personal problems and write it down so that I can look back at my thoughts later and see if they still make sense. Here is a fictional situation that needs to be resolved: Whenever you see a willow tree you are filled with emotion and begin to weep uncontrollably. You feel that you know the reason why you react this way as when you were ten you father was killed under a willow tree. However, on the same day and time your friend Sam also witnessed his father dying under the same tree and does not have the same issues as you, at least not with willow trees. The problem is that there are willow trees all around your office and your work is suffering terribly. This problem needs to be resolved.
Option 1: Solve the problem logistically. Move some place where there are no willow trees and make a new life for your self.
Option 2: Solve the problem head on and get someone to replace the trees at your work or chop them all down yourself in the middle of the night.
Option 3: Deal with the emotion, so that you can live at peace with willow trees.
Most of time you have to fix your problems using option 3. Option 2 is a resource hog and option 1 precludes any type of long term relationship in your life.
So let’s drill down on how to fix your problem using Option 3.
Solution 1: Work through this issue yourself.
Pro: Who knows you better than yourself?
Con: Most people don't know themselves very well.
Solution 2: Get help from a friend or family.
Pro: Your friends and family care about you and want the best for you.
Con: Sometimes advice from friends or family can have a hidden agenda or might be just telling you what you want to hear. Overall not very objective.
Solution 3.0: Get outside help.
Pro: Advice is somewhat more objective.
Con: The advice usually comes from a model that doesn't always apply to you and your special circumstance.
Solution 4: Get professional help.
Pro: You can get advice that works great.
Con: You’re relying on the pro to know what works. Pros make mistakes too.
Solution 5: Ask God for help.
Pro: God cares about us, knows what's right for us, and always gives us the right answer.
Con: It can be difficult if not impossible sometimes to hear what he is saying to you.

So there it is. Is there some solution here that is "better" than another? Are different solutions needed for different problems? Does using one solution ever preclude the ability to use another solution? Should a certain solution never be used because it is just too faulty? Do certain solutions work better for certain personality types? Does a solution type work better in certain situations? Should we all just throw our hands up in the air and not deal with problems because it’s just too hard?